[润色成篇]
初级范文
Dear teachers and students,
My name is Li Ming. I am so happy to be here to talk about wild animals with you.
①The animals are pandas. They are black and white, and they are very cute. They mainly live in the forests of Sichuan, China, and bamboo leaves and shoots are their favourite food. As a symbol of China, pandas not only represent friendship but also ②
keep the balance of nature. However, they are in danger now. People cut down too many trees, so pandas don't have enough space to live in or enough food to eat.
③
We should protect pandas. We should stop cutting down trees and protect their living areas. What's more, we can call on more people to protect them. Let's work together to save them.
Thank you!
高分范文
Dear teachers and students,
My name is Li Ming. I am so happy to be here to talk about wild animals with you.
①The animals are pandas, one of the most lovely animals in the world. They are black and white, and they are very cute. They mainly live in the forests of Sichuan, China, and bamboo leaves and shoots are their favourite food. As a symbol of China, pandas not only represent friendship but also
play an important role in keeping the balance of nature
(使用 play an important role in 升格). However, they are in danger now. People cut down too many trees, so pandas don't have enough space to live in or enough food to eat.

③
In order to protect pandas
(使用 in order to 结构升格), we should stop cutting down trees and protect their living areas. What's more, we can call on more people to protect them. Let's work together to give pandas a safe and happy home.
Thank you!
名师指导:
一、高分范文中,①运用“one of+the+形容词最高级+可数名词复数”结构升格,让主题定位更突出,说明了熊猫的特殊性;②使用短语“play an important role in”升格,让表达更精准,提升了主题深度;③使用“in order to”结构作目的状语升格,使文章逻辑更清晰,符合演讲稿“呼吁人们行动”的语境。
二、两篇范文均遵循“开篇点题→描述特征→点明问题→提出建议→呼吁行动”的经典框架,首尾呼应,条理分明,内容重点突出。